YOO HOO DARLING!
FABULOUS FREELANCE FASHION INVESTIGATOR
The Wonder Woman theme was barely audible through the haze of the third Jim Bean Honey toddy that I imbibed before I finally drifted off to sleep. "Is anyone going to answer that?," I exclaimed to Paris Hilton Marie, my tawny kitty cat standing at attention, paws gripping the side of my the bed.
I was just beginning to doze off when I heard the theme song again.
“All the world is waiting for you
and the power you possess
In your satin tights
fighting for your rights”
It was indeed my custom Marvel branded doorbell.
The latest flu bug combined with lack of sleep and a ridiculous work schedule has laid me lower than President Trump’s current approval ratings.
Needless to say, by the time I made it to the front door, the delivery man had come and gone and left a bundle of the most delicious pink and lavender peonies on my doorstep. This was the 4th flower delivery in the span of 5 days.
One bundle was from mom (smile). Two were from members of my staff. But…the 4th one …well, the 4th one was unsigned.
“Hmmm…a secret admirer?,” I thought.
Perhaps the bouquet was gifted by the NY venture capitalist I met on the Tube in London; or the concierge at the Miami Kimpton hotel where I work remotely part time; or perhaps my new biz partner sent them- he did promise to keep the current project under budget...
Perplexed, I snuggled deeper into my fleece lined fuschia kimono and slowly climbed the stairs of the DollHouse.
My bedroom, usually flooded by light from 3 floor-to-ceiling windows, was shuttered: a veritable hothouse thanks to an electric heater and a humidifier softly gurgling to no one in particular.
After spritzing Tom Ford Violet Blonde on my PB Teen Emily & Meritt sheets, I slipped back under my dotted duvet, flowers to my left and right, and considered 2017.
It's off to a good start.
Ready. Set. Go!
...as soon as this fever breaks, darling!
What exactly happens when a DOLL living in the Diamond District (Washington, DC) falls in love with the camera? She brings her friends along for the ride, of course.
SIMONE BUTTERFLY TV EP. 1 STARRING
MARIESSA TERRELL, FASHION ATTORNEY
MATT MUELLER, CO-OWNER OF KNOT STANDARD
ZSUDAYKA NZINGA, ART INSTRUCTOR AND ARTIVIST
CATWALK BOUTIQUE, CAROLYN THOMAS, PROPRIETOR
CAPITOL HILL CRABCAKES, HORATIO DAVIS, PROPRIETOR
SIMONE BUTTERFLY FASHION INVESTIGATOR profiles Matt Mueller, Knot Standard proprietor; watches Zsudayka Nzinga update designer jeans with stencils and paint; shops The C.A.T.W.A.L.K. boutique; suppers with Horatio Davis, owner of Capitol Crab Cakes; and discusses how to use social media as an alternative to trademark litigation.
DC is more than government, darling. And we have proof.
Every Friday at 9pm on DCN channel 16
Simone Butterfly Fashion Investigator YouTube Channel:
Those simply marvelous people at the Office of Cable Television, Film, Music & Entertainment (OCTFME) are launching a divine television program, Simone Butterfly Fabulous Freelance Fashion Investigator on Friday evening, September 23. And you, darling are invited to the Launch/Watch Event.
It will be held at the OCTFME soundstage (such a cool place, right?) at 6:30 o’clock (pm that is).
Do be there, because this will be a trés exclusive entertainment event: the first and only screening 'till the show is released to the general fashion public.
I’ll look for you.
The Office of Cable Television Film and Entertainment is located at 1899 9th Street, Northeast, Washington, DC 20013.
CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE SIZZLE REEL
CLICK HERE TO RSVP FOR THE 9.23 LAUNCH EVENT
CLICK HERE TO BECOME A SPONSOR
They say to "SLAY," you need time or money. So what happens when you don't have much of either? You improvise.
Shoes for the TV launch on Friday? Simple. While my Mimosa (the newly renovated Dupont location) pedi dries before my "full set" with Ryan, I will pop over and upstairs to Secondi consignment boutique for a pair of metallic silver Prada platforms discounted from $650 to $150. #ShowUrLocal
Lyrics for Saturday's Diana Ross performance? Difficult. But Bluetooth speakers work especially well when tucked under zebra printed satin pillowcases. I bet I can loop the medley all night and set up karaoke in my home office. #Boss
Gym Membership Lapsed but Physical Therapy Still Required? Hmmm. I think this is why God invented tree lined Brookland streets. If I schedule my afternoon walks with ankle weights and a headset, surely I can host conference calls, strengthen my calves and hydrate. Right?! #PowerHouse
Hair Stylist touring the Greek Isles and No Time to Train up a New Recruit? Camoflauge. Taking a day for a redo, color, and a set with a rookie is out of the question since I'm tasked with securing champagne for Friday, coordinating the Simone B. street team and making the rounds at Ean's DC FASHION WEEK events. No matter, with a new line of bespoke visors, who's worried. Hair up, Hat on, Haute darling! #MillinerInTheMaking
DC IS MORE THAN GOVERNMENT, DARLINGS. AND WE CAN PROVE IT.
Air Kisses to you, Ms. Ingrid for inviting me and my BFF Kristopher Hoyle to appear on your fantabulous show, INGRID'S WORLD.
I wouldn’t say Zika killed my summer. But, I will say that the threat of it rearranged my travel plans. Instead of the DR, I hunkered down in the DollHouse with my AC on blast and my Rosé on ice.
I wasn’t really alone. I was surrounded by my friends: Paris Hilton Marie (the cat); 4 issues of CR (the Fashion Book); Gidget (my MacBook Pro) and my dolls (all the heels that I couldn’t wear this time last year).
Tip top on my diva-do list: find my left Fendi sandal gifted on my birthday circa 2015; compile my fashion clippings for the next wall decoupage; actually complete a Denise Auston pilates
workout; and bling the gearshift on my Challenger.
Don’t get me wrong, once a week I made it a point to leave the premises for an extended pool moment. DC’s rooftop pool game is legendary and there is no doll more equipped than me to circumvent hotel security.
Top Pools in DC
The Omni Shoreham - 2500 Calvert St., NW
The Donovan -1155 14th Street, NW
The Liason 415 New Jersey Avenue, NW
Embassy Row - 2015 Massachusetts Ave. NW
The Palomar - 2121 P Street, NW
Washington Plaza - 10 Thomas Circle
Because it’s HOTT out there and it will be Fashion Week soon again...
I’m not really obsessed with audio books. But, Jackie Collins’ epics are better than lithium. Listening to the adventures of Lucky Santangelo, the raven haired beauty who never takes “NO” for an answer, always elevates my mood and amplifies my inner voice. After an hour or so of hearing how Lucky built a 10 million dollar casino/ hotel/ movie studio in Vegas, I was ready for roulette.
Later on that same day my Vuitton carry-on was packed and I was waiting patiently for Uber. By 4pm I was on a plane heading to the City of Dreams. AmEx points ensured business class, champagne and an internet connection strong enough to book a modest room at the Delano. Yeah, I preferred a suite with roof access and complimentary massage therapy. But I was feeling Lucky! Plus, what would happen if I let go and let God handle the details?
Catching a cab in a canary trench coat with silver aviators was a cinch. Check in was likewise uneventful. But when I got to my room, inserted the key and walked in, I was greeted by a towel clad 75-ish man with a look of absolute surprise on his face.
“Excuse me, sir. I must have the wrong room,” I snickered, as I backed out into the hall.
“Hmmm…,” I thought to myself. “We are not off to a good start.”
The concierge, a millennial in a tailored navy blazer with oversized gold buttons embossed with the initials, LV, was more than apologetic.
“Do you have any penthouse suites available tonight?,” I asked, blue eyelashes fluttering.
“Madam,” he stammered. “Those suites are significantly more than a double.”
“Yes, 10 times more,” I said, meeting his stare.
He looked to the left and then to the right. Seeing no one, he leaned forward and whispered, “We do have a king executive suite available on the 20th floor. Since you are staying with us through the weekend, we are happy to upgrade your reservation at no additional cost to you.”
I hesitated, for just a beat.
He went on. “I also have a voucher that you can use for a complimentary massage in our 5 star resort spa.”
"Fantabulous!," I exclaimed.
“You know,” he confided as he magnetized my room key, “I’ve only been working here for 3 months. Thankfully, my probationary period ends next week. Would you consider writing a favorable evaluation for me?”
“My pleasure!” I winked. “Get ready for your promotion, darling. When I get finished, your manager will think you walk on sparkling Voss."
“Thank you,” he gushed.
After my 60 minute massage with Elton, I lay in the king sized bed on the 20th floor of the Delano thinking, I need to get out of God’s way more often.
I glanced at the clock. "Who needs sleep?" I said aloud to no one in particular.
30 minutes later, I was dressed in Wolfords, a Herve Leger bandage dress and a tiara. One spritz of Coco Noir and I was out the door. Sans reservation, I glided towards the Harvest (the newest restaurant in the Bellagio)…
Still Feeling Lucky....
It was about 10:45 pm on December 31st. The temperature in the Diamond District was a blustery 32 degrees. I was walking briskly towards Barracks Row and clucking to myself. I could hear my friend, Kristopher in my head.
“Em-me," I remember him saying as he peered over his navy blue wire framed spectacles, "You're barely 5'2". Not even flat Manolos work with mid calf skirts!"
He was right, I thought as I hiked up my skirt to enable longer strides. I should have worn the mini Moschino instead.
“At least you have a decent coat,” I countered aloud to myself while stroking the vintage ivory faux fur purchased from Desiree (NomadYardCollectiv.com) earlier that day. Desiree’s unique approach to all things vintage makes her showroom a destination for fashion innovators throughout the DMV. Another kindred spirit alive and thriving in the Nation’s Capital.
Just as my thoughts started to whirl they were disrupted by the theme song to Charlie’s Angels.
“Hello, this is Mariessa,” I said breathlessly as I reached the corner of 8th and E, Streets, SE.
I looked to my right and was surprised to see a doe eyed Diana Ross doppelgänger in the window of the TheChesapeakeRoom.com. At 5’1”, my Miss Ross was clutching a microphone bedazzled with multi-colored rhinestones and belting out what sounded like "Compared to What" by Roberta Flack. From where I stood on the sidewalk, I was unable to see her face clearly. But there was no doubt about it, she had a Twiggy meets Naomi Campbell kind of style.
She wore a micro mini white dress with mirrored bits that twinkled like a Studio 54 disco ball as she twirled. She wasn't wearing stilettos either, I noticed. But her ankle boots were suede, the color of uncorked champagne with fluffy lambs wool cascading down along the sides.
A pair of gold kitty cat ears perched at an angle on her head and enormous chandelier earrings seemed to tickle her shoulders every time she moved her head.
When she turned to look out the window, brown eyes flashing beneath heavy cobalt lashes, our eyes met briefly and we both gasped.
It was SIMONE, singing Rhythm and Blues on New Year’s Eve.
“Can I call you back, love?” I said to Q who by now was starting to raise his voice.
“Where are you,” he said, sounding irritated. “Did you hear anything I just said?”
“I’m sorry. Of course I heard you,” I stammered. “I just saw a friend of mine. I’m walking towards you now. 8 minutes. Okay?”
I hung up the phone and made a bee line towards the restaurant instead.
The sign on the door read: Closed for a Private Party. But, Simone true to form, motioned me in through the glass.
"Yoo Hoo Darling," she gushed and grabbed both my hands.
I haven’t seen you since the Alpha's Founder's Day party at Malmaison, I said.
Simone rolled her eyes.
"What happened? Did you run into the Vulcan?," I inquired excitedly.
“Yes and No, darling,” she said with a sly smile. "His shadow was there."
"His shadow?", I echoed.
"Yes, girl! He was there at about 50% capacity- deflecting so much that I got dizzy just trying to hold a conversation with him."
"Really? So no reconciliation?," I asked.
"Half measures never add up to a whole, luv." Simone said with a knowing look.
"But I just may have run into the “MONEY” for the Simone Butterfly TV project at the coat check. She was wearing Derek Lam and appears poised to sponsor us."
"So there is a silver lining?," I added.
"PLATINUM, darling," Simone said beaming!
On, Up, OVER....repeat!
Simone's 2016 manifesto
Special Thanks to Nick Mack (on piano); Tim Jones (on bass) and Eddie Anderson (on drums). Live performance featuring Simone Butterfly on November 14, 2015 at Serendipity located in Brookland, Washington, DC. GIGGLES! 🎶❤️💋
It's been a little over a month since I last saw Simone. Imagine my surprise when a messenger in a vintage Good Humor uniform stood in the doorway of my Howard University School of Law office.
"Hello," I said.
"Good Morning, are you Mariessa Terrell?"
"Yes," I said as I rose from my desk.
"I have a letter for you. Would you sign for it please?"
"Of, course," I stammered. Wondering how a male model had managed to get past HU security to find me on the first floor of Houston Hall.
The pearlescent metallic envelope he handed me shimmered in the early morning light. The front bore no postage marks. But, the back was artfully sealed with bright bubblegum colored wax embossed with the letters S.B.
I laughed out loud and poured a fresh cup of Roses et Chocolat tea.
When I slid my thumb under the seal, Chanel Noir wafted up towards my face.
“Yoo Hoo Darling,
Lately yachting about the waterways surrounding BARI, ITALY has become de rigor. It's 11 am on Thursday and today I am wearing a 5 inch pre-sewn white satin turban anchored by an enormous emerald broach. The height was absolutely necessary since I opted for HAVANNAS thongs instead of stilettos. Because I did not have/could not find my color blocked bikini top (a casualty of the high jinks of the night before), I artfully tied a HENRI BENDEL tassel printed scarf around my torso, a perfect complement to the white canvas flat fronted culottes gifted by MaryAnn.
CJ, our consummate host and captain could be Denzel W's long lost brother (circa "Inside Man"). He has the same devilish swagger and endearing grin. Apparently, CJ made his first 100 million whilst aggressively taking over various independent luxury brands and uniting them under one large “ group.” To put it bluntly, darling. He is not only yummy; but, he is LOADED.
That being said, you can't swing a BIRKIN without knocking over 3-5 STELLA MCCARTNEY clad groupies jostling for position.
You know me, darling, I never engage in amateur sport. Instead I spend most of my time posing on the top deck, plotting my next adventure and completely ignoring him.
Thankfully CJ travels with a wolf pack of other taut eligibles most wearing loose linen trousers, contrasting tank tops and elaborate body art. My favorite tatoo was etched into the shoulder of Tristan. It read: 'Aut Viam Inve'niam Aut Faciam' (I'll either find a way or make one). Words to live by.
You would be pleased to know that I haven’t visited a single boutique since my arrival two weeks ago. There’s no need to go shopping when CJ’s retail baron friends never climb on board without bringing enough fashion swag to give away to all the lady guests.
I awake each morning with the excitement of a child on Christmas Day. Thus far, I have snagged a(n):
EKLE black knit tunic dress
LEGHILA white and powder blue neoprene handbag
FREDDY skinny fit (the slounge way) butterfly camp printed pant
SWIMS turquoise penny loafer.
Spending these last lazy days of summer jet sking, sipping artisan cocktails and dancing to Diana Ross disco beats until dawn has done wonders for my outlook.
I am looking forward to RETURNING to the Diamond District and toasting your new position at HUSL. Good News Travels Fast. Congtatulations, Darling!
We must split a bottle of TATTINGER NOCTURNE ROSE upon my return.
It was Tuesday last and I was idling at a red light adjacent to CITY CENTER DC (premier shopping destination erected by Hines Development Co.). The sun was beaming and I was day dreaming about the Gucci boutique slated to open this year - when I heard a familiar voice cooing, "Yoo Hoo Darling!™"
I looked to my right and saw a jet black 2015 DODGE CHALLENGER with inky tinted windows stamped with a 007 decal. I blinked my eyes to avoid the glare from the Swarowski encrusted decals along the side panels.
"What the cupcake™?!", I said aloud.
Moments later the driver's side glass slowly slid down revealing 2 large eyes rimmed in COBALT LASH EXTENSIONS.
"Simone!," I gushed. "I haven't seen you since the APRIL taping of INGRID'S WORLD. Where have you been?"
"I've been resorting in West V.A. at the GREENBRIER," said Simone. "Didn't you get my text? THE VULCAN is back in town. So true to form, I took the high road and headed south west!"
"Surely DC is big enough for 2 Supers to co-exist?," I said dryly.
"Not really, Simone retorted. "You forget I'm armed and dangerous these days. Not only am I endowed with super 'get out of Dodge' speed thanks to my 2015 V8 CHALLE' but these BLUEBERRY LASHES are also quite magical."
"What do you mean?," I said.
"I mean, Simone said with a wink. "I can now ferret out the truth even when it's buried alive."
"And that makes you dangerous?," I asked.
"Only to Extra Terrestrials," Simone giggled.
HAVE HEMI WILL TRAVEL....
The water is very warm and comes just over the ankle of my floral Betsey Johnson rubber boots. The mop I am wielding is useless against the multiple flood alerts throughout the DMV. Glamour along with true blue comrades are hard to find these days. Me-thinks a change of scenery and a (hard) line of credit is needed ASAP.
Query: Where does a diva of a doll find a home with running water for 2 hours at a time?
Answer: Home is where the DESIGN CENTER DREAM HOUSE is!
Fashion is fearless.
And sitting next to Victoria Beckham during the royal wedding almost caused ME to think twice about the frock selected to commemorate WIlliam and Kate's nuptials. By the fourth backward comment and the fifth swig of sherry (why is it always COLD in the UK?), I was convinced that it was absolutely fitting to wear the scarlet McQueen feather confection with custom headdress. Fashionable? But of course. Tasteful? Tickety Boo, darlings. It was a moment I shall never forget. Gliding in, heel to toe, Feathers trailing and fluttering behind...it was pure theatrics.
Fashion is flawed.
Two days later, I spent the better part of my morning sipping Perrier-Jouët Belle Epoque (champagne) and typing up my wedding notes hastily scribbled on the backs of my business cards (I could not seem to give them away). It must have been the 2nd bottle that did it. Whatever the reason, the coup (vintage cut glass and perfect alternative to the classic champagne flute) overturned dousing my keyboard (DRAT) and ruining my hard drive...DOUBLE DRAT!
Fashion is forward.
I am now bidding adieu to Macbook (#3) and all my (now) inebriated fashion files, contacts and legal briefs. Good bye, lovelies. I stand facing WEST and what is left of the sun (it’s 8pm) my arms cradling MacBook Pro (#4) christened “Gidget” soon after purchase.
Here’s to a clean slate, darlings!
Simone makes a brief appearance on INGRID'S WORLD during an interview with Fashion Attorney Mariessa Terrell. Curious? Watch HERE!
I have been desperately seeking Simone since Friday.
Thirty minutes later, I saw her walking down New York Avenue dragging an overstuffed pink Vivienne Westwood hard-side luggage case. Sadly, I was unable to make sense of the conversation she was having via her Beats headset...something about "outer space" and whether her crockpot would still work sans gravity.
Tuesday, April 7
About a week later, a lavendar embossed envelope arrived carrying with it a faint scent of rocket fuel mixed with Tom Ford Jasmine Rouge.
"So sorry if this note reeks of rocket fuel," Simone wrote in sprawling looping cursive.
"But, remember that clever Cosmonaut I met at Lockheed Martin? Well, darling, he has a space shuttle with a basketball court and a soaking tub. Sadly the bar, cupboard and the spa is woefully under stocked. Can you send a up a few necessities (in no particular order)? See below.
Simone's list continued for three double sided pastel pink pages.
No doubt cooking on the moon in 3 inch satin mules sounds like a uniquely Simone branded adventure.
To Infinity and Beyond the District of Columbia, ....
The 3 mice looking for refuge from the coldest February on record must have been blind. How else did they overlook the signage above the tradesmen entrance to the DollHouse? It clearly said in capital letters: NO SOLICITATIONS: DAIRY FREE HOUSEHOLD.
But because charity begins at home, I agreed to share my fashion row house with the fuzzy family of 3 - provided they confine themselves to the basement quarters. Besides, the Palomar Hotel on P Street was having a $99 Kimpton rewards weekend. After 3 days and 2 nights of room service and wine tastings, I returned to Northeast. But I wasn't alone, darlings.
Meet "Paris Hilton" my adoptee.
It's March and I'm happy to say: The DollHouse is mice free, Spring is around the corner, and I've finally got my second wind.
Simone Butterfly has been investigating fashion with a twinkle & a twirl since 2003.