YOO HOO DARLING!
FABULOUS FREELANCE FASHION INVESTIGATOR
Special Thanks to Nick Mack (on piano); Tim Jones (on bass) and Eddie Anderson (on drums). Live performance featuring Simone Butterfly on November 14, 2015 at Serendipity located in Brookland, Washington, DC. GIGGLES! 🎶❤️💋
It's been a little over a month since I last saw Simone. Imagine my surprise when a messenger in a vintage Good Humor uniform stood in the doorway of my Howard University School of Law office.
"Hello," I said.
"Good Morning, are you Mariessa Terrell?"
"Yes," I said as I rose from my desk.
"I have a letter for you. Would you sign for it please?"
"Of, course," I stammered. Wondering how a male model had managed to get past HU security to find me on the first floor of Houston Hall.
The pearlescent metallic envelope he handed me shimmered in the early morning light. The front bore no postage marks. But, the back was artfully sealed with bright bubblegum colored wax embossed with the letters S.B.
I laughed out loud and poured a fresh cup of Roses et Chocolat tea.
When I slid my thumb under the seal, Chanel Noir wafted up towards my face.
“Yoo Hoo Darling,
Lately yachting about the waterways surrounding BARI, ITALY has become de rigor. It's 11 am on Thursday and today I am wearing a 5 inch pre-sewn white satin turban anchored by an enormous emerald broach. The height was absolutely necessary since I opted for HAVANNAS thongs instead of stilettos. Because I did not have/could not find my color blocked bikini top (a casualty of the high jinks of the night before), I artfully tied a HENRI BENDEL tassel printed scarf around my torso, a perfect complement to the white canvas flat fronted culottes gifted by MaryAnn.
CJ, our consummate host and captain could be Denzel W's long lost brother (circa "Inside Man"). He has the same devilish swagger and endearing grin. Apparently, CJ made his first 100 million whilst aggressively taking over various independent luxury brands and uniting them under one large “ group.” To put it bluntly, darling. He is not only yummy; but, he is LOADED.
That being said, you can't swing a BIRKIN without knocking over 3-5 STELLA MCCARTNEY clad groupies jostling for position.
You know me, darling, I never engage in amateur sport. Instead I spend most of my time posing on the top deck, plotting my next adventure and completely ignoring him.
Thankfully CJ travels with a wolf pack of other taut eligibles most wearing loose linen trousers, contrasting tank tops and elaborate body art. My favorite tatoo was etched into the shoulder of Tristan. It read: 'Aut Viam Inve'niam Aut Faciam' (I'll either find a way or make one). Words to live by.
You would be pleased to know that I haven’t visited a single boutique since my arrival two weeks ago. There’s no need to go shopping when CJ’s retail baron friends never climb on board without bringing enough fashion swag to give away to all the lady guests.
I awake each morning with the excitement of a child on Christmas Day. Thus far, I have snagged a(n):
EKLE black knit tunic dress
LEGHILA white and powder blue neoprene handbag
FREDDY skinny fit (the slounge way) butterfly camp printed pant
SWIMS turquoise penny loafer.
Spending these last lazy days of summer jet sking, sipping artisan cocktails and dancing to Diana Ross disco beats until dawn has done wonders for my outlook.
I am looking forward to RETURNING to the Diamond District and toasting your new position at HUSL. Good News Travels Fast. Congtatulations, Darling!
We must split a bottle of TATTINGER NOCTURNE ROSE upon my return.
It was Tuesday last and I was idling at a red light adjacent to CITY CENTER DC (premier shopping destination erected by Hines Development Co.). The sun was beaming and I was day dreaming about the Gucci boutique slated to open this year - when I heard a familiar voice cooing, "Yoo Hoo Darling!™"
I looked to my right and saw a jet black 2015 DODGE CHALLENGER with inky tinted windows stamped with a 007 decal. I blinked my eyes to avoid the glare from the Swarowski encrusted decals along the side panels.
"What the cupcake™?!", I said aloud.
Moments later the driver's side glass slowly slid down revealing 2 large eyes rimmed in COBALT LASH EXTENSIONS.
"Simone!," I gushed. "I haven't seen you since the APRIL taping of INGRID'S WORLD. Where have you been?"
"I've been resorting in West V.A. at the GREENBRIER," said Simone. "Didn't you get my text? THE VULCAN is back in town. So true to form, I took the high road and headed south west!"
"Surely DC is big enough for 2 Supers to co-exist?," I said dryly.
"Not really, Simone retorted. "You forget I'm armed and dangerous these days. Not only am I endowed with super 'get out of Dodge' speed thanks to my 2015 V8 CHALLE' but these BLUEBERRY LASHES are also quite magical."
"What do you mean?," I said.
"I mean, Simone said with a wink. "I can now ferret out the truth even when it's buried alive."
"And that makes you dangerous?," I asked.
"Only to Extra Terrestrials," Simone giggled.
HAVE HEMI WILL TRAVEL....
The water is very warm and comes just over the ankle of my floral Betsey Johnson rubber boots. The mop I am wielding is useless against the multiple flood alerts throughout the DMV. Glamour along with true blue comrades are hard to find these days. Me-thinks a change of scenery and a (hard) line of credit is needed ASAP.
Query: Where does a diva of a doll find a home with running water for 2 hours at a time?
Answer: Home is where the DESIGN CENTER DREAM HOUSE is!
Fashion is fearless.
And sitting next to Victoria Beckham during the royal wedding almost caused ME to think twice about the frock selected to commemorate WIlliam and Kate's nuptials. By the fourth backward comment and the fifth swig of sherry (why is it always COLD in the UK?), I was convinced that it was absolutely fitting to wear the scarlet McQueen feather confection with custom headdress. Fashionable? But of course. Tasteful? Tickety Boo, darlings. It was a moment I shall never forget. Gliding in, heel to toe, Feathers trailing and fluttering behind...it was pure theatrics.
Fashion is flawed.
Two days later, I spent the better part of my morning sipping Perrier-Jouët Belle Epoque (champagne) and typing up my wedding notes hastily scribbled on the backs of my business cards (I could not seem to give them away). It must have been the 2nd bottle that did it. Whatever the reason, the coup (vintage cut glass and perfect alternative to the classic champagne flute) overturned dousing my keyboard (DRAT) and ruining my hard drive...DOUBLE DRAT!
Fashion is forward.
I am now bidding adieu to Macbook (#3) and all my (now) inebriated fashion files, contacts and legal briefs. Good bye, lovelies. I stand facing WEST and what is left of the sun (it’s 8pm) my arms cradling MacBook Pro (#4) christened “Gidget” soon after purchase.
Here’s to a clean slate, darlings!
Simone makes a brief appearance on INGRID'S WORLD during an interview with Fashion Attorney Mariessa Terrell. Curious? Watch HERE!
I have been desperately seeking Simone since Friday.
Thirty minutes later, I saw her walking down New York Avenue dragging an overstuffed pink Vivienne Westwood hard-side luggage case. Sadly, I was unable to make sense of the conversation she was having via her Beats headset...something about "outer space" and whether her crockpot would still work sans gravity.
Tuesday, April 7
About a week later, a lavendar embossed envelope arrived carrying with it a faint scent of rocket fuel mixed with Tom Ford Jasmine Rouge.
"So sorry if this note reeks of rocket fuel," Simone wrote in sprawling looping cursive.
"But, remember that clever Cosmonaut I met at Lockheed Martin? Well, darling, he has a space shuttle with a basketball court and a soaking tub. Sadly the bar, cupboard and the spa is woefully under stocked. Can you send a up a few necessities (in no particular order)? See below.
Simone's list continued for three double sided pastel pink pages.
No doubt cooking on the moon in 3 inch satin mules sounds like a uniquely Simone branded adventure.
To Infinity and Beyond the District of Columbia, ....
The 3 mice looking for refuge from the coldest February on record must have been blind. How else did they overlook the signage above the tradesmen entrance to the DollHouse? It clearly said in capital letters: NO SOLICITATIONS: DAIRY FREE HOUSEHOLD.
But because charity begins at home, I agreed to share my fashion row house with the fuzzy family of 3 - provided they confine themselves to the basement quarters. Besides, the Palomar Hotel on P Street was having a $99 Kimpton rewards weekend. After 3 days and 2 nights of room service and wine tastings, I returned to Northeast. But I wasn't alone, darlings.
Meet "Paris Hilton" my adoptee.
It's March and I'm happy to say: The DollHouse is mice free, Spring is around the corner, and I've finally got my second wind.
Not even a nordic blast could dampen the enthusiasm of the fashion faithful at the Wednesday kickoff of DC Fashion Week (DCFW) founded and produced by Ean Williams. Heralded as a celebration of “NEXTGEN” up and coming designers, the DCFW inaugural event sponsored in part by H Street MainStreet emphasized the link between supporting local talent and developing a strong local economy.
“When we come together and encourage students to succeed and our businesses to thrive, everyone benefits,” said Anwar Saleem, Executive Director of H Street Main Street.
The show itself featured a unique array of original garments by local designers. Howard University Junior Larry Easley’s mini wrap dress hand beaded and sewn from upholstery swatches that took him 4 days to create was one of my picks for best in show. For the most imaginative cocktail dress, the easy winner was a one shoulder black confection trimmed in white faux fur by eighteen year old West Potomac Academy student Carlos Valensuela.
Other list worthy show stoppers included Baltimore designer Paco Rogiene's trio of breezy chocolate and white sleeveless summer dresses in varying lengths and the easy comfort of slouchy jersey ensembles styled by Carolyn Thomas, owner of Catwalk Boutique.
For men, the stand out items included a quilted black notch collar jacket with matching 2 button shawl and a grey military style coat with gold buttons both presented by H Street Retailer, Euro Styles.
DC Fashion Week events will be held from February 18-22. www.dcfashionweek.org
- See article as it appeared in the HillRag at the LINK below:
Today, I am declaring a détente. For several months now, my Wish List and my Requirements have been involved in calculated skirmishes that have almost decimated my Spring fashion budget.
It all started in December. Wish List, recalling my legendary gifting practices of years passed, pushed hard for more elaborate gestures of self love. My resulting Christmas swag was epic: a hand painted Clarisonic, jet black pony hair Chanel boots and a Rita Hayworth lingerie cabinet to complete my bedroom suite.
Not to be out done, Requirements retaliated swiftly with a litany of honey (must) do items from truck repairs to plumbing replacements. By February I had no other option but to negotiate peace talks. After all, I was literally one debacle away from wearing the same Giuseppe Zanotti gladiator sandals from the season before. Now what does a stalemate beetween needs and wants look like? ...a fully loaded 6 speed Dodge Challenger, perhaps?
Legally Fabulous (Episode 3)
LegallyFabulous Episode 2 (above)
LegallyFabulous Episode 1 (above)
"Legally Fabulous", created by Jehan Carter (J. Carter), captures four female attorneys by day and socialites by night in the new the "it" city to live in on the backdrop of D.C.'s Obama era. In addition to tv producer turned entertainmnt lawyer, J. Carter, the cast includes former Miss DC and attorney Chelsey Rodgers, event planner and attorney Bisola Daramola and fashion blogger and intellectual property attorney Mariessa Terrell.
Legally Fabulous showcases Washington, D.C. beyond its stuffy political town reputation and brings the spotlight to the city's thriving entertainment, arts and charitable scene through amazing cast of men and women that dominate these arenas. The pilots for both shows will premiere as a three part series that you can only exclusively watch on their respective sites beginning on Sunday February 1st through February 15th.
The margin between success and less than success many times requires an instant replay. By reviewing past experiences in slow motion, we discover the details, the obstacles and the inches gained or lost in the last seconds.
Oh, its about the long money, darling. It's about what happens after the dust settles and the footage is reviewed. AL PACINO (Any Given Sunday) was right. "It's a game of inches." And guess what? I'm not giving up any today!
Yoo Hoo Darling!
Those simply marvelous dolls at The Donne Belle Agency are showing the divine tv pilot LEGALLYFAB, on Sunday evening, FEBRUARY 1st. And YOU, Darling are invited.
The show will be aired at www.legallyfab.com (such a quaint name, eh bien?) at 7:30 o'clock (pm that is).
LOG IN for the first and only screening until the show is released to the all.
Onward, Upward and Over.
Respondez S'il Vous Plait
The DollHouse c/o firstname.lastname@example.org | @SimoneBtrfly
Legally Fabulous Cast: From L-R and Top To Bottom: J. Carter, Chelsey Rodgers, Bisola Daramola and Mariessa Terrell. Watch the trailer and three part pilot premiere of Legally Fabulous exclusively at LegallyFab.com every Sunday at 7:30pm EST beginning Sunday February 1st! Use the hashtag #legallyfab on social media!
Tuesday last, I received an oversized parcel from CK Dexter Haven. The accompanying handwritten note said simply, “Meet a Kindred Spirit – Enjoy, CKDH” The box contained a flat package swaddled in a Nicole Miller Home navy faux fur blanket and secured by a delightful white bow. CKDH, a playwright hailing from Philadelphia, insists that “life is a production” and as such greatly benefits by appropriate hair, makeup and wardrobe. Agreed! So, before the official unveiling, I thought it best to hide my pin curls under a black velvet turban embossed with the wording FASHION STAR and slip on my fav Kimono- this one in silk satin with an image of Pam Greer- a la “Coffy“ stitched on the back . I also thought it would be completely in character to fortify my vanilla chai tea with a few fingers of Pinnacle Salted Caramel vodka. Now appropriate, I unwrapped my surprise with the type of glee reserved for Tiffany blue boxes on an early Christmas morn.
CKDH knows me well. Thus, his gift was sonnet worthy: an original signed painting by Margaret Keane featuring a beautiful, grinning wide eyed baby girl.
Working from home has its privileges and affords a myriad of creative styling opportunities befitting any project, mood, or UPS delivery.
Who Needs An Audience?
Darlings, don’t miss Tim Burton’s newest movie, “Big Eyes” documenting the triumph of artist Margaret Keane who successfully sued her husband, Walter Keane for slander after he plagiarized her art for over 13 years.
I am in the shower halfway through my Secret Agent playlist (loads of John Barry 007 tracks and vintage Mobb Deep) before realizing that the cap on my head is silk not waterproof. This dingle (ding bat) moment, unprecedented since the first time I left the emergency brake off of the Pathfinder, is henceforth to be referred to as “the mad shower cap caper”- a sure sign that Simone has zoned out and left the building.
After canceling all appointments (what else can be done with the Gold 'N Hot blow dryer on the fritz and my BLOND wig on loan to D.A.?), I spend the rest of the day working remotely and trying desperately to reset the clock. It seems to me I am distracted? Whipsawed? Confused? Or maybe I am just COLD!? They (Wikipedia) say monarch butterflies can not withstand cold weather opting instead to a) hibernate or b) migrate away to a warmer climate. Perhaps the ruination of my beetle mania bob was a defense mechanism; a destructive round about way to keep me home bound for a day. The cure is easy enough. I’m told it’s a high of 80 degrees in South Beach.
Have LapTop Will Travel.
Three weeks ago, I bumped (literally) into Fashion Attorney Mariessa T. on 5F (5th Floor of Bergdorf Goodman, NYC). I barely recognized her without her mod black and white uniform. It was 10:00 am on Saturday and she was clad in silver leather Rag and Bone trousers, a caramel Alice+Olivia sweater studded with crystals and retro Prada aviators with blue lenses. Her faux leopard coat was strewn on a nearby couch.
"Yoo Hoo Darling," I purred.
“Simone,” Mariessa gushed. “What ARE you doing in NYC?”
“Looking for elevation,” I said, as I picked up a pair of 5 inch Giuseppe Zanotti platforms.
“Me too.” Mariessa laughed out loud.
“So how was San Francisco?,” I inquired.
“Marvelous!,” Mariessa replied. “You remember model turned IP Attorney Uduak Oduak?
“Well,” Mariessa gushed, "Uduak coordinated the January Fashion Panel at UC Hastings College of Law School and invited me along with LA Fashion Attorney Staci Riordan (of Fox Rothschild) and designers for GrDano (Brian Scheyer and Jill Giordano) to participate. It was thrilling!"
"Let me text you the facebook link," Mariessa added.
Our conversation continued for about 8 more minutes. Then Mariessa, black fedora pulled dangerously over her left eye was out the door clutching her pre V-DAY purchases (Wolford back seamed hosiery, Stuart Weizman leopard print booties and Tom Ford lip lacquer in Cherry Lush).
Always Fashion Forward.
It’s 9pm on New Year’s Eve (NYE). It's also snowing in Gstaad, Switzerland. By now the majority of the hotel guests have left for various fetes around town. After a week of wraps, hot and cold waxing, pummeling and sulphur body treatments, I am alone and feeling almost meditative as the new year approaches. Well, almost… Truly, it is impossible to participate in an internal dialogue when every 15th minute, Jean, the bartender offers me another drink. This one is pink gin and gifted by a financier who a moment later raised his arm in salute from the safety of the lobby bar. After 2 quick sips, the fizzy, like the champagne cordial delivered earlier was soon discarded in a nearby potted evergreen.
I don’t for a minute imagine that my sparkling personality contributed to all of the furtive looks and generous compliments that I received during my NYE (lobby) vigil. Most assuredly, I had intentionally curated a specific aesthetic for the occasion.
Not exactly dressed for dancing, I was wearing an elaborate deep black body suit of stretch nylon with fasteners by Suki Cohen (Sarah Cohen). For once, Sarah’s sculptural foundation pieces with clean cut-outs suitable for outer and under wear were discreetly hidden beneath a floor length modernized tea gown trimmed in silver mink. (Find more on Tea Gowns here)
My crystal slippers were discarded at the foot of the navy blue settee. This move enabled me to easily slide my left leg up and over my right knee revealing crystal seamed Wolford stockings (Bergdorf’s, of course) that twinkled in the flickering candlelight. When the New Year finally made her grand entrance, she found me and my epic To Do list scintilating with gusto in front of a roaring fireplace.
The theatricality of my NYE’s celebration makes me want to laugh out loud. When you style your life with intentionality, even your miniscule efforts are rewarded.
It’s finally 2015. If it's gold you want, start the spinning cycle now.
Waltzing along Fashion Avenue was not even the highlight of our most recent jaunt to NYC. This go 'round we spotted an opulent lady ostrich wearing rouge and jeweled cashmere leg warmers. She was completely out of her element, though, being 7900 miles from SE Africa. But really, is anyone dressed to the nines ever completely out of place on 5th Avenue? It wasn’t like she was traveling solo. Perched 6 feet up, atop a mass of white feathers, sat an enchanting ballerina quite erect dripping in creamy pearls. Perhaps that is what I’ve lacked all along? An ostrich accomplice - whose keen eyesight coupled with her outrageous height and super spectacular plumage can identify, enchant and out race any would be adversary. On second thought, me thinks we’re time enough for any would be FRENEMY.
Simone Butterfly has been investigating fashion with a twinkle & a twirl since 2003.