Yoo Hoo Darling, I’ll admit it—I was tempted to tell everyone I’d been in the Alps perfecting my yodel, but the truth is, I spent the last month at a meditation retreat in the Bronx. Yes, the Bronx. Because sometimes, even I am obliged to pause the drama and focus on the Dharma. Om shanti, darling.
Now, it’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m back in DC with $55, no date, and a worsening dairy allergy. Tragic, I know. But like girls around the world, reinvention is in my DNA. So here’s the plan: First stop: the National Botanical Garden. No need to actually buy flowers when the peonies there are practically couture. A dozen IG shares later, I had made my point…flower power is free if you know where to get it. Next, I flitted over to the Aveda Institute in Arlington for a $35 facial. Student technicians may be in training, but they understand the universal plight of not having quite enough to splurge. Thanks for the samples, dolls. For bubbles, I popped open my emergency bottle of TÖST, a non alcoholic option that costs $6.73. If it’s good enough for the Ivy in B’more it is good enough for me. Back at the DollHouse, I bathed in LushUSA ($8) and slid on my sweatshirt, a pink confection from a Canadian reseller on Etsy. I carefully painted my lips Kabuki red with Geisha stage lip lacquer by Shiseido. Divine, and absolutely impossible to find in the US. With nowhere particular to be, I decided to stage a mini concert for anyone else alone (not lonely) in the DMV. If you can’t do, prepare to. It's getting hectic out there. Best to well rested for the show down, darling.
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So, I’ve been re-reading Amy O’Dell’s book on Anna [Wintour] And I’ve discovered we have a lot in common. Like Anna, my stylist drops by my row house to blow out my hair each morning. Her name is Quanisha and she teaches at Bennet hair school 5 blocks away. So long as the grits are hot and the coffee is iced, Q is happy to hook me up before work. It takes a fashion village, darling! The only life worth living is the one you create. S1m0ne💋 It’s 3 days after Christmas and I’ve been flitting all around the house, gathering supplies for my epic layabout.
The fireplace is crackling and sputtering with glee. And I, in my StuWeitzmans, am feeling qulte co-zy Why? It’s almost New Years, and I’m surrounded by my fav things: almond tea, Skinny Pop, and a mound of vintage couture in various stages of repair. Sip, snip, pull, pause, repeat. My mantra hasn’t really changed. Creating a life worth living requires Diana Ross level grit & glam. In 2024 find me at the DollHouse with yards of skirt, discounted champagne, and an epic story to tell. I think it was Angie that first put the idea in my head. Choir practice for the 175th Anniversary of Second Baptist had ended and we were making our way downstairs to wait on her Lyft and my Uber.
It’s Halloween in Washington, DC and if you know anything about moi, you know I prefer treats over tricks and cider mimosas over drug store candy. You should also know that I whole heartedly embrace any occasion where I can dress up as an icon from a bygone era…think Dorothy Dandridge, Marilyn Monroe, Nina Simone, Betty Davis, or Esther Jones (the real Betty Boop- I hope you plan on seeing the new musical featuring Jasmine Rogers).
This year, to celebrate the last day of October, I opted to channel the first black supermodel, Donyale Luna. To complete my transformation, I commissioned custom stilts (to catapult me up from 5’2” to 5’11”); switched from clear to blue contacts, and fabricated a seductive European accent akin to Luna’s. In addition, I cultivated a signature mode of communicating with others…all sinewy movements, dreamy expressions, and wide eyed wonderment. A star was born around 11 a.m. on October 31, 2023. And died soon thereafter when my left stilt got tangled up in my leopard printed caftan. I guess it’s true, butterflies and moon goddesses prefer to float over rough terrain. Happiest of Halloweens and welcome to November, darlings. Be the cake, xoxo S1m0ne Shut Down 🙀 & Salon Ready?!Yoo Hoo Darling," Simone cooed as she glided up to me.
"Hey Girl!," I said with a smile. “I haven't seen you since July. Where have you been hiding?" "Not hiding, darling. Just strategizing," Simone said. "About what?!," I asked. "How to navigate a government shut down." Simone quipped. "What do u mean??," I asked. "I’ve been contemplating how far off the grid I can go." Simone said. "Considering your beauty regime, I’m thinking you can’t go far," I said. "Don’t be so sure.” Simone countered. "Covid was good for one thing. I now know how to keep up appearances without a bi-weekly salon visit.” “How is that?,” I asked. "YouTube University," Simone said. "What’s your channel?," I asked. Coming soon, darling. Be the cake🍰, xoxo S1m0ne SimoneButterfly.com Fashion stories to inform & inspire One of Estee Lauder's heirs coined the term "lipstick effect" to refer to the propensity to invest in a smidgeon of glamour come what may. I am a true believer. It's Fashion Week in New York and I have ditched my sack cloth (worn since August 2023 for a Pretty Little Thing gold goddess of a dress by Naomi Campbell. Priced from $16 to $160, even a freelance fashion investigator can afford threads designed by a super. Be the cake, P.S. Are you enjoying my content? Tell my manager.😉
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming with a NEWS UPDATE. Beloved British Vogue Editor in Chief, Edward Enninful leaves his top position for a newly created one...global creative and cultural advisor. I decided to start the DollHouse renovation project in my bedroom. Here's how it started.
-- 🛁 🫧 -- 🧼🚿 -- 🛁 🫧 -- 🧼🚿 -- 🛁 🫧 -- 🧼🚿 -- 🛁 🫧 -- 🧼🚿 -- 🛁 🫧 -- 🧼🚿 The fifth contractor agreed with the previous four. It will be damned difficult to install the claw footed high back soaking tub three feet from the canopied bed. Simone, true to form said little. Instead, she tilted her head, blinked her large bright eyes and met his gaze with a faint smile. He countered by gesturing wildly, shaking his head emphatically and repeating his pronouncement with more fervor. "IMPOSSIBLE!" "There are no water pipes on this side of the room," he sputtered. And, "anyway, why would anyone want a bathtub twenty feet from the loo?" Obviously, he has never visited the Mansion on Forsyth Park (Savannah) or seen series one episode four of Miss Phryne Fisher's detective stories. Doesn't he know all DOLLIES require an elixir on occasion?. Take away her 20 minute soak and her hearty Cotes du Rhone red and even our sweet little Simone just might meet them where they are....with a sword at the ready instead of a wand! |
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