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Shut down & salon ready

10/1/2023

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​Shut Down 🙀 & Salon Ready?!

Yoo Hoo Darling," Simone cooed as she glided up to me. 

"Hey Girl!," I said with a smile. “I haven't seen you since July.  Where have you been hiding?" 

"Not hiding, darling.  Just strategizing," Simone said.

"About what?!," I asked.

"How to navigate a government shut down." Simone quipped.

"What do u mean??," I asked.

"I’ve been contemplating how far off the grid I can go." Simone said.

"Considering your beauty regime, I’m thinking you can’t go far," I said.

"Don’t be so sure.” Simone countered. 

"Covid was good for one thing. I now know how to keep up appearances without a bi-weekly salon visit.”

“How is that?,” I asked.

"YouTube University," Simone said.

"What’s your channel?," I asked.

Coming soon, darling.

Be the cake🍰, xoxo

S1m0ne
SimoneButterfly.com
Fashion stories to inform & inspire
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Lipstick in Effect

9/17/2023

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One of Estee Lauder's heirs coined the term "lipstick effect" to refer to the propensity to invest in a smidgeon of glamour come what may. I am a true believer. It's Fashion Week in New York and I have ditched my sack cloth (worn since August 2023 for a Pretty Little Thing gold goddess of a dress by Naomi Campbell. Priced from $16 to $160, even a freelance fashion investigator can afford threads designed by a super.

Be the cake,
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P.S. Are you enjoying my content? Tell my manager.😉
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Summer reading list

7/7/2023

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So, I’ve been re-reading Amy O’Dell’s book on Anna [Wintour] And I’ve discovered we have a lot in common. Like Anna, my stylist drops by my row house to blow out my hair each morning. Her name is Quanisha and she teaches at Bennet hair school 5 blocks away. So long as the grits are hot and the coffee is iced, Q is happy to hook me up before work. It takes a fashion village, darling! 

The only life worth living is the one you create.
​S1m0ne
💋
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NEWSFLASH - A Letter to Edward Enniful

6/13/2023

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We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming with a NEWS UPDATE.  Beloved British Vogue Editor in Chief, Edward Enninful leaves his top position for a newly created one...global creative and cultural advisor.

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Bubble Trouble

5/15/2023

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I decided to start the DollHouse renovation project in my bedroom. Here's how it started.

-- 🛁 🫧 -- 🧼🚿 -- 🛁 🫧 -- 🧼🚿 -- 🛁 🫧 -- 🧼🚿 -- 🛁 🫧 -- 🧼🚿 -- 🛁 🫧 -- 🧼🚿

The fifth contractor agreed with the previous four.  It will be damned difficult to install the claw footed high back soaking tub three feet from the canopied bed.  

Simone, true to form said little.  Instead, she tilted her head, blinked her large bright eyes and met his gaze with a faint smile.

He countered by gesturing wildly, shaking his head emphatically and repeating his pronouncement with more fervor.  

"IMPOSSIBLE!"

"There are no water pipes on this side of the room," he sputtered.  And, "anyway, why would anyone want a bathtub twenty feet from the loo?"

Obviously, he has never visited the Mansion on Forsyth Park (Savannah) or seen series one episode four of Miss Phryne Fisher's detective stories.  

Doesn't he know all DOLLIES require an elixir on occasion?.

Take away her 20 minute soak and her hearty Cotes du Rhone red and even our sweet little Simone just might meet them where they are....with a sword at the ready instead of a wand!
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Guess who's back from St. Thomas?

4/16/2023

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​I boarded the plane with a renewed sense of purpose. How do I curate a lifestyle similar to Minnie Belle's?   

From previous conversations, I  remembered Minnie had been on her own since she was widowed at 35.  Yet, her homes in DC, Cape May, St. Thomas, and Paris spoke of hidden assets. "Organized crime or something else?," I mused. The only thing I knew for certain was that she worked briefly as a model for Halston and then as a political activist in the Black Panther party. 

I closed my eyes and turned up the volume on the wind chimes playlist emanating from my gold MontBlanc-esque headphones purchased on E-bay.  I needed to spend less time focusing on Minnie and more time charting a new course.  I signaled the stewardess with the luxe lash extension, "Darling, may I have a tonic water and a lime?"

I pulled out my Betsey Johnson flask and splashed a finger's worth of gin into the plastic United Airlines cup. After switching my playlist to Betty Davis, I opened a new OneNote on my phone.  

Time for a new list.

S1m0ne's Spring 2023 Wish List (in no particular order)
  1. Personal chef
  2. Personal driver
  3. Personal gardener (Are you sensing a theme?)
  4. Hair/Makeup team
  5. A cleaning service
  6. A Macgyver of a boyfriend

S1m0ne's Spring 2023 List of Assets
  1. DC row house (located between an open air drug market & a $900,000 townhouse)
  2. Six-speed Dodge Challenger in cobalt blue
  3. Five racks of clothes painstakingly collected since high school
  4. A more than passable alto singing voice
  5. Journalistic tendencies in the field of fashion
  6. Direct access to the Holy Spirit

S1m0ne's Spring 2023 Deal Breakers
  1. Thou shalt not neglect thy pre-dawn spiritual practices.
  2. Thou shalt not be distracted by men with no legitimate streams of income.
  3. Thou shalt not pay retail....ever.
  4. Thou shalt only drink top shelf when at home. 
  5. Thou shalt adopt a fitness regimen without paying a monthly membership.
  6. Thou shalt not compare thyself to self-made social media mavens.

What will our little butterfly do next?
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St. Thomas for the #win!

3/19/2023

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Where in the world is Sim0ne B.? St. Thomas, USA.

Minnie Belle spoke the truth. The right apparel can absolutely open doors, windows and hotel vaults. After I finished a few errands, I headed straight to the most exclusive hotel in the county. The Ivy was spectacular, with robin’s egg blue beach chairs and a bar staffed with cocoa brown waiters in sharply creased cargo shorts. Having stored my trunk of garments, shoes, hats, and accessories at the airport, I sat down unencumbered at the outdoor bar. 
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As the tide waltzed in and out, I sipped my sugar rimmed lemon drop, and reflected on a conversation I had earlier that day:

"So what time is your flight back to DC?," Minnie inquired as she started sorting through her garments I brought from Cape May.


Instead of answering, I lowered my gaze and tried to think of a way to tell her that somewhere between Florida and St. Thomas, my plans had changed.


She noticed my hesitation but did not stop sorting through the items now organized in several neat piles on her bed. After a few moments, she handed me a luxe Dior caftan and a 2-piece bathing costume with no discernible label. 


"I don't think I can accept any more garments from you," said NO fashion investigator ever. So I simply said, "Thank you, Minnie Belle," with awed sincerity.


"And, what size shoe do you wear?," Minnie inquired with a smile.


"6 and a half," I replied a bit too quickly.


She laughed and handed me a clear lucite box with a pair of knee high gladiator sandals nestled inside. "I purchased these in Italy almost 40 years ago," Minnie said before I could ask about their provenance. 


While I was practicing my best "Naomi" (runway walk), Minnie glided over to her white leather desk, sat down, and pulled out a box of embossed Cartier stationery. After sealing the envelope, she left the room only to return with a bottle of Armani Prive Vert Malichite. Three spritzes in the air left the envelope lightly lily scented and amazingly dry.


"Give this to Omar at the Ivy and you’ll have a place to stay tonight," Minnie said as she handed me the missive.


I took the envelope with care and kissed Minnie on the cheek. She smelled of L'Occitane almond oil and [Olaudah} Equiano rum. Before Minnie released me, she whispered in my ear, "Just remember S1m0ne, it never profits a woman to offend the Spirit within." 


With a wink,, Minnie returned to the kitchen. She was preparing gumbo for Dr. Nigel. And, I was once again dismissed.
​
​I smiled at the memory and retrieved my song list from my bag.  If Omar worked at the Ivy, he might be in a position to hire a lounge singer. Luck favors the prepared, darling. ​😉

Fashion stories to entertain & inspire.
@Simone.Butterfly

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V-Day Adventures with S1m0ne

2/14/2023

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“Four days before Valentine’s Day and I was no closer to conjuring up a dreamy V-Day celebration.

Then, on February 12 at 5 am, I received a phone call from Minnie Belle, my fairy godmother that lives in Cape May. On her recent cruise to see what’s left of the whales in Alaska, she contracted covid, and was air-vac’d to a medical spa in St Thomas. 

Why St. Thomas? That is where her primary care physician, the very single Dr. Nigel resorts.

Minnie wanted me to race to Cape May, pack up her favorite Pucci lounge sets and bring them to her in St. Thomas by Feb. 14. She was planning a takeover of sorts. 

“Normally, I’d let you stay in my villa,” Minnie said in between sips of what I imagined was an icy rum punch. "But, alas,” she continued, "we are giving her a refresh.”

In other words, Dr. Nigel was in residence.

“Don’t worry,” I assured her. "My wits, plus a few outfits from your 3rd floor closet is all the currency I need." 

“Help yourself,” she said with a laugh.

The real conundrum: “Could I get myself from NE to Cape May to St. Thomas in a day and a half?”

Can Tom Ford sell lace knickers to a man? YES! see Tom’s Spring/Summer 2023 line (pic 14 out of 17) 😉

Happy Valentine’s Day!
💜❤️🖤

#fashion stories to inspire colorful living 🥂
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V-DAY PREP BEGINS TODAY

1/19/2023

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​On January 2, 2023, I began mentally preparing for V-Day.  And by preparing, I mean I memorized a new mantra to be recited thrice daily, “Forewarned is Forearmed.” 

I assure you that this level of cynicism is more nurture than nature and takes at least 3 consecutive valentine day debacles to perfect.

It began the year the Vulcan disappeared for the day only to text a photo of himself in a CVS holding my V-card at 10:25pm. It ended the time he invited me to a resort with his sister (who was really his ex). My meltdown, recorded by the hotel CCTV was a daytime Emmy worthy performance.

Cupid would not catch me slipping again. 🤷🏾‍♀️💔​👊🏾 #justsaying
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Simone's Ever Green Christmas

12/22/2022

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I hung up on my accountant, Frasier on Thursday. He used the “B” word 3 times during the first 60 seconds of our call. Haven’t I given up enough already? I demanded. I mean, I only eat out with Capitol Hill interns - (they know where the hardiest happy hours are). And, I have long since replaced my weekly lash extension sessions with strips from Sally's. To ask me three times to "BUDGET" beyond that is (in one word)....ridiculous. But Frasier is right about one thing, I cannot sustain my lifestyle without more income.

When, my agent, Margarita called with a Christmas gig at the Greenbrier, I did not hesitate. 

"Yes! How much are they paying?," I asked.  

"They say the package is worth $4500,"  'Rita said.

"I need money, 'Rita." I retorted. 

"The good news: after this week, you will finally be able to get into that white Lanvin sheath. That's a bonus, right?".

[silence]

"Plus," 'Rita continued, "they've booked you into a charming bungalow and comped you two spa treatments per day."

"What am I going to eat?," I demanded. 

"The bungalow has a kitchen," Rita continued. 

"Girl, call them back and ask if they will provide some food vouchers. I am not cooking for two weeks." I pleaded.

Two minutes later, 'Rita called back with better news.

"Greenbrier will provide daily dinner and drink tickets but you are on your own for breakfast and lunch," she said.

"How many songs do I have to sing?", I asked.

"You're booked in the the piano bar from 8pm to midnight. (2 sets)."

"WHAT? Can I at least collect tips?," I asked.

"Yeah, sure," Rita replied. "Your tip jar is all yours."

"Fab!," I enthused.

At least I had somewhere luxe to go for the holidays, I thought. The mortgage could wait two more weeks. Right?!
​
🗝🔓  Remember, the only life worth living is the one you create! Be intentional this Christmas and let God handle the rest. 
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